The Lesser of Evils

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With all of the recent advancements, parenting has become a rigorous obstacle course of navigating "How you will ruin and/or neglect your kid today".  Observe:

Task: Wash laundry in laundry room.

Complicating Factors: One twenty pound toddler, a flight of stairs, three doors (one requiring a key), and an absolutely non babyproof laundry room.

Option 1: Leave child unattended in condo while you cart baskets to the washing machines. Hope child doesn't spend entire 5 minutes screaming and banging on door. (Although, at least with this option you know exactly how your child is spending the unsupervised time, as opposed to, say, chewing cords or pulling stools down on his head.)

Option 2: Place child on top of laundry basket and hope he hangs on tight enough for the trips down and up the stairs. Make sure that no one observes your awkward juggling act to keep basket steady while unlocking laundry room door.

Option 3: Allow toddler to come down the stairs on his own and trust that if he slips and falls you will have time to drop the laundry and catch him before he comes to grave danger. Believe intently that he will obediently ignore the lure of sunlight en-route and not wander off to play in the parking lot.

Once inside the laundry room:

Option 1: Place child on top of dryer while accomplishing tasks that cannot be done with baby in tow. Ignore distance to floor... distance to heavy duty electrical plugs... distance to grimy soap scum... and the fact that he is standing up and lurching around to better satisfy his curiosity of all things in the magic world of "behind the dryer".

Option 2: Allow child to play on the floor where he can have plenty of access to monster water heater, ancient trashcan, forgotten cigarette butts, and all things grimy.

Option 3: Corral child in laundry basket and knock him down every time he stands up or otherwise tries to get out.

Option 4: Use laundry baskets to form fence and encourage his "helpful" sorting abilities that includes pulling the lint trap out of the dryer to see if it tastes good and placing treasured toys in its place.

In summary:

If it looks like I haven't washed my clothes in months, just know I am being a good parent.

Comments

Vicki Carroll said…
Well, if it wasn't a 3 hour drive each direction, I would say for you to come and do your laundry here, and I would happily keep an eye on cutiepiebabyboy/toddler. Alas, the distance is daunting. I love you!
7:57 PM
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