Goals, Theme Verses, Reflections, and Being Occupied

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On the planner I am using for 2012 there is a little note printed for today suggesting that I choose a theme verse for the year. After two seconds of reflection, I realize that my theme verse for this year is likely to be the same verse I have had percolating in my thoughts for three years.

Ecclesiastes 5:20

As the ESV says, "For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart."

Let me back up.

Three years ago I was 100 days away from my wedding. Repeatedly friends, relatives, and passersby would instruct: write down all of the sweet things of your courtship so you will remember it always.  So when I was given a journal covered in lovey-dovey hearts, I thought it the perfect keeper of all of the lovey-dovey memories I was going to beautifully script on to each page.

Up until then, I had been a prolific filler of journals. From the time my brother gave me a diary (complete with lock and key) when I was 11, I marched through an impressive collection of all things paper. So 100 days away from my wedding, I thought it not overly ambitious to set the goal of filling the heart-patterned journal completely by the time I said "I do."  After all, once I was married, there would be no reason to keep up the ooshy-gooshy lovey-dovey flippity-floppity so romanticized in pre-marriage.

But I was planning a wedding, working full time,and discussing all of the Big Important Questions of Life Together with S.O.S. There just wasn't time for me to dreamily stare out over a blank page AND time for me to fill it.  One hundred days dragged and flew by and I had barely marked any pages.

That's okay, I reasoned. Honeymoons are supposed to be even more lovey-dovey, ooshy-gooshy. What better time to write surrounded by hearts?

But friends, you know the story. If a woman is not able to find time to write while she is engaged and working full-time, she is not going to find the time to write while she is newly married and working full-time, much less newly married, working full-time and figuring out motherhood.


For a long while I carried a burden of guilt about the empty pages of my journal. Not only was the opportunity to chronicle "life at its happiest" slipping away, but this "spiritual discipline" where I had always excelled, lay dormant.


And then, like eddies forming in an otherwise rushing river, bits and pieces of Ecclesiastes 5:20 circled in my thoughts. "God keeps him occupied"... "He will not much remember the days of his life"... "joy in his heart."


How can I convey to you the sweet release of that verse? While there have been many times where I have wished to be not quite as occupied, the joy is real. In the verses leading up to this unofficial theme verse of mine, it talks about God giving the power to enjoy the lot in life He gives for the "few days" of life under the sun.


What better reminder that these days are few... not because CutieBabyBoy will soon be grabbing the car keys and heading off to college, and not because S.O.S. and I will settle into the "too-long married" sort of relationship that is devoid of whispered sweet nothings.  These days are few because this life under the sun is meant to be just a vapor, just a faint shadow of Life as it is meant to be enjoyed.  And that is a thought worth chronicling.


Now if only I can find a pen to script it on pages 23 through 180 of my lovey-dovey heart journal.

Comments

Sylvia said…
There is no such thing as "too long married" with a lack of sweet nothings. At least not so far... 33 years and counting. And Steve's parents would say the same at 58 years and counting!
3:02 PM
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