Money Laundering

I'm spoiled.

I haven't had to pay to do my laundry since I graduated from college. (Actually, chances are I didn't do laundry for at least two weeks before I graduated. You know, finals... papers... social obligations...)

Even for the first three weeks of married life, when, for the first time in five years I didn't have a washer and dryer down the hall, I got to do my laundry for free thanks to two hospitable friends.

And if it weren't for the fact that my dear SOS has a uniform for work and it gets smellier than... well, it gets smelly... I think I might still have avoided a trip to the dreaded laundromat. I mean, one of the first things I demanded of my husband was that he buy more underwear. He didn't even have enough to put off doing laundry for more than a week and a half! (And believe me, I didn't want to suggest the eco-friendly option suggested here.)

Not to mention, poor dear, that as soon as we were married I became obsessive about collecting quarters for the eventual Day of Reckoning. I nearly had to hold my own hand to prevent myself from snitching a quarter out of the "take a penny, leave a penny" plate at a tourist trap on our honeymoon. When my purchases at other stores rang up, I would carefully calculate what change I could give that would protect my quarters and maybe even return one or two to me.

Much to my despair, however, my carefully hoarded quarters were exactly enough to start the washer on our first load of paid laundry. Never mind the change machine directly behind me. Using coins to pay for laundry is bad enough... seeing it eat through real cash money is downright terrorizing.

My theory goes something like this: our current laundromat fees and our current rate of dirty-laundry making equates to about $50 a month in quarters. That is a tank and a half of gas plus a box of chocolates. So if SOS and I can just accumulate enough days' worth of outfits to go a month without washing anything, then once a month we could visit different friends (provided they are the type of friends who come with free access to a washer and dryer) near and far, or maybe not quite so far, do our laundry while visiting with them, thank them with a box of chocolates, and still save money.

It would all work so perfectly if it weren't for that smelly work uniform. And the month long supply of outfits. And the difficulty of transporting an entire walk-in closet worth of clothing in a car that get's good enough gas mileage we could travel further than the laundromat without spending more than $50 in gas.

Ah well.

Maybe I'll start checking pay phones and couch cushions for quarters.

Comments

Matthew Carroll said…
Where I was living in Germany in 1996, the coin-op washer downstairs in the furnace room cost five Deutsche Marks -- that was about US $3.50 for a single wash.

One of my neighbors showed me how to hot wire the machine to get a load for free, but that didn't sit well on my conscience.

So I did most of my wash by hand in the bath tub.

Then one day hanging my jeans by the furnace to dry, I found a DM 100 note on the floor, still wet, I assume, from someone's hot wired laundry load.

As they say, it really does all come out in the wash.
Unknown said…
If you take a 20 to the bank, you can get two rolls of quarters... which, in a volume to cost ratio is a gain. THEN you have quarters and thus feel like you arn't loosing real money when you go to do laundry.

don't think to hard about the details of this logic, just TRUST ME.

it works :)

Popular posts from this blog

Stone of Help

The Crazy Market

The Right Trousers