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A visitor who very much wished it was breakfast for three.

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An Ode to a Blog Half Forgotten

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I think my blog is on the verge of an identity crisis. The most consistent reason new readers visit here is for the song lyrics I posted to annoying children's songs more than two years ago. And how can I, in good consciousness, continue to post on a blog titled "Life in the Slow Lane" when I've said I would do what promotes the very antithesis? (work overtime) But if I stop posting about the things of the Slow Lane, who will carry on? Who will confess to a board member stopping to comment on how she owns nail color the exact shade as I am wearing on my toes, but she only bought it because she knew she would never wear it so it could be seen? Who will instruct on the proper way to wash a car (leave it in the rain) or what to say when an eleven year old calls you to share what he is eating for dinner? Indeed, I would be tempted to stop posting altogether if it weren't for the fact that this blog is contributing to the sanity of at least one person in this great ...
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Going to the Dogs

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"Do you happen to know anyone who house-sits?" "Um... well, um... I guess technically, um... I do... ButItrynottoletpeopleknow." "Oh, well, would you consider house-sitting for me? I paid two hundred dollars to put my dogs in a kennel over the weekend and they came back dirty and sick." "Um..." "The little puppy was sick." Folks, how can you say no when saying no means a puppy might get sick? I keep telling myself I am not going to say yes as many times as I did last summer. Last summer I needed a place to live, this summer I don't. Yet already I have eight assignments I couldn't say "no" to. Those big, sad, puppy dog eyes... and I haven't even seen the puppy yet.
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This isn't Kansas anymore, Toto.

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Um... So it's the first day of Sign Language and this guy tapes his mouth shut in the first thirty seconds and then waves his arms and screams (with his mouth shut) to get the teacher's attention. Then whenever someone else is using their mouth too much, he waves his arms and holds the tape out to them. Eventually, he takes the tape off of his mouth so that he can tell everyone that they should tape their mouth and also so that he can call the teacher a certain part of the male anatomy. This, of course, makes a few people upset, and a woman says "You know, I had to have it out with someone who wasn't as bad with you last semester, and I'm going to have to have it out with you right now." The teacher, rather calmly I think, says "If you don't like my class, you can go, it's only the first day of class." I'm fairly certain he was talking only to the dork guy, but the woman stands up and storms out of the room saying "This isn...
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