Life in the Slow Lane

So my little truck has been in the shop for over a day now. I don't remember turning on my lights on Friday morning, but when I returned to my car after seven hours of babysitting, my battery was dead. So we opened up the hood to jump start it and the kind man who was helping me said something about something with the engine and that I might need to get that something looked at. So I drove home. And there was some disconcerting squeeling and then a disconcerting burning smell and then some even more disconcerting lack of squeeling. So I borrowed someone else's car for the next day and a half. But when I finally got up the nerve to look at the truck, I saw two problems: a coolant leak and a hose hanging down. So we took it into the shop. This morning was the first time that the mechanics were able to talk with us since we took it in. Most times, there is one mechanic who lays it all out, gives the different scenarios, the projected costs for the different scenarios. They are fri...

The thing about frequently updating your blog is that it picks up blog surfers who are just jumping from one newly updated blog to another. (Is it okay to say surfers are jumping?) I'm not opposed to the random process, I just don't like the fact that last night several (not just one) arrived at my blog from... shall we say... a "gentlemen's club" blog. I feel as if I should come out here with a bottle of clorox spray and a bushel of garlic (or whatever it is that keeps that sort of horror away).

Engenho Verde Originally uploaded by biukalee . Engenho Verde This lovely plantation, built in the 1860's (if my memory serves me correctly), is an amazing bed and breakfast. The first amazing thing about it I can say in three words: No Checkout Time. The innkeeper didn't even know what it was when we asked about it. I probably shouldn't put this on my blog because then this will be the next big vacation spot and we will never again enjoy being the only guests, but imagine: Riding horses Fresh fruit picked on the premises Beautiful country side Natural waterfalls close by Goats that you can milk Three delicious meals Pools made from the river on the property And only a short distance from Palmares... home of an inn positioned scenically on top of a gas station.

Waterfall close up Originally uploaded by biukalee . I wanted to sit in the waterfall and use it like a water slide, but I was slightly concerned that the slickness of the rock might make me land somewhere that I did not want to go.

Waterfall from a rock on the other side of the river Originally uploaded by biukalee . This is one of the several waterfalls within short driving distance of the plantation. The specks in the upper left corner of the waterfall are people.

Riding Horses Originally uploaded by biukalee . The three amazing horses. From left to right: The slowest horse in the world, the horse that did just like whichever horse he was following, and the horse that darted under low mango limbs and would not walk. The only reason the three are side by side right now is that the slow horse had a six minute head start.

Flower Originally uploaded by biukalee . One small part of the absolutely gorgeous surroundings to the plantation.

Moonrise Originally uploaded by biukalee .

While I am taking a break from my normal, heavily intellectual posts, I will note that Elena tagged me for this: Four Jobs I've Had: 1) Traveling Nanny 2) Museum Curator (So it really wasn't a museum, it was just a really big house and I just cleaned it sometimes... but I did end up spending one entire day cleaning the suit of armour.) 3) Care Provider to a 42 year old child 4) Sales generator person or something. I was one of those easily hated people who get your address and then give it to a company so they can bombard you with promotions. I promise I only did it for a short time and I asked everyone's permission before I took down their address. I promise. Four Places I've Lived: 1) V-Town (Draw a line through the center of California both vertically and horizontally and where the lines meet, that's V-town. Just don't get stuck in the middle of V-town and need to call AAA. I've heard it takes awhile to figure out whether you are in Northern California o...

I usually don't do many quizzes, but since this one a) was created by our own serapio b) brought about by my suggestion and c) has a picture of me (and my store), I couldn't resist. You are either an imposter (not a mall at all!) or you are from some other country besides the USA or Brazil. What kind of mall are you brought to you by Quizilla

Man coming down a coconut palm Originally uploaded by biukalee .

Jack fruit Originally uploaded by biukalee . Eating jackfruit is like pulling eye balls out of a marsh of rotting sticks except you have to avoid a large seed, too.

The Garden of Eden Originally uploaded by biukalee . On the last Sunday that I was in Brazil, we took a trip into the Interior. Towards sunset we stopped in this garden where we picked acerolas, jackfruit, coconuts and mangos. Some people say that Adam and Eve would never have risked everything for an apple or a pear... only for a mango. I don't know about that one, but have you ever noticed that no one has ever suggested that the tempting, forbidden fruit was jackfruit?

I think it is finally time that I buy myself some more shoes: I am all out of shoe boxes. And I guess it must also be time for me to bake lots of desserts because the dishes that you dirty while baking don't easily go into a dishwasher and I need to spend some time with my hands in warm, soapy water so that the splinter of glass that has made its home in my finger will come out. But I think I will put those things off a little bit longer. Right now it is time for me to take a nap... I'm cold.

After six weeks of absense, I have finally returned to my domicile. While I was gone winter happened. I want to know who swallowed the sun. I mean, I still am recovering from a sunburn I got while climbing up a water fall and things around these parts look like they haven't seen the sun in six weeks. Also, I think my cats doubled in size. They look like a hippo, a horse, and a stuffed pumpkin. How on earth do cats get to be so large? Unfortunately, the size of my cats and the absense of sun are not the only things I had forgotten about. I also happened to forget that I left the remains of six different projects on my bed. (Does anyone want a couple of hula hoops? The noise makers have been removed.) While I am asking for volunteers, does anyone want to figure out how to clean the smell of fermented sugar cane out of a suitcase? While you are outside working on it, you could bring in my things from the car, too. I think I will sit in front of the fire with a cup of tea and wait for ...

I ignored the fifth cardinal rule of packing. That is the rule that states EVERYTHING must be placed in a plastic bag. I also got sidetracked and so did not follow the second rule which states that anything breakable must be properly protected. Fortunately, I obeyed the seventh rule which says to pack a change of underwear and socks in your carryon. Let's just say that a certain alcoholic beverage which I was carrying as a favor for my brother just happened to be in a glass bottle which completely smashed inside of my suitcase where in the laws of diffusion and osmosis had a marvelous good time and insured that the entire contents of my bag embibed freely of the properties of fermented sugar cane. I'm hoping that I don't have to explain to any officials as to why all of my luggage smells like I am very fond of strong drink.

Just so you know, a short cut is not a short cut if it involves crossing a four lane highway, skirting a wide canal, and crossing another four lane highway.

I do hope you noticed that I have been generous in giving all of you one extra week to fulfill the new year's resolutions I gave you last year . Any successes that you would like to report?

Brazil has one of the widest gaps between the rich and the poor. The rich have cars and private guards and cell phones and weekend houses on the beach. The poor have nothing. Today he might have a street corner where he can perform a hand stand, hoping to be tossed a coin. Today she might have an edge of a sidewalk where she can sleep for the night. Today he might convince some one to pay him for pulling weeds. Today she may be able to beg two kilos of food. Today he might have a pair of women's shoes, two sizes too small, with the heels broken off. Today she might even have a house that is hers if she can only stay in it for five years. But tomorrow maybe someone will burn her house down and she will have to start all over again. Tomorrow there may be some one with just a bit more power who can take away whatever the poor have today. Understandably, with such a large gap between the haves and the havenots, there is a lot of violence. There are street corners where you keep your wi...

Last night we went to Recife Antiguo. We walked past the oldest Jewish synagogue in the New World and the church that smells horridly of urine and the super chique mall and the book store that makes me wish for an antebellum gown to sweep behind me as I ascend the stair cases. We've been before to see the snazzy lights on the old buildings and to hear the surf beat against the man-made reef. And we've tried to understand the lighted Christmas cow and the ugly fountain that looks like sprinkler heads and the plastic flower sales man that starts the conversation with "Ah, kissing with the tongue is good." But last night we were there for an entirely new reason. Drums. Great Big Booming Drums. Not the kind that resets your heart beat and makes you wonder whether you are getting enough blood to your head. Nor the kind that makes you put your house up for sale to get away from the garage band next door. No, no. Thirty drums booming together, changing rhythms together. Thir...

Last night was the first time I have ever worried that I might be thrown out of a park. I was also worried for a brief time that I would be thrown off of a bus, but that was a different matter. The issue with the bus was that I found myself on the bus without a bus fare. The problem in the park stemmed from the fact that they had super cool playground activities but a limited faith in their strength. With the exception of the climbing tower that wiggled the entire time I climbed on it, all of the structures appeared to have been built 15 years ago out of construction grade metal. And based on the height, it would sem that they were made for the 8 and over crowd. So we took advantage of that. Serapio and I went on the see saw (with him scooting up and me scooting back, we managed to balance each other out fairly well) and we went on some cool swings that reminded me of a tricycle (only suspended and backwards) and some other cool swings that looked like benches and then the coolest swin...

Here in the Slowlane we celebrated New Year's early. At 8:45 we all gathered around with our jelly jar glasses and sparkling cider (Please note: when buying cider in a foreign country, check the alcohol content.) we toasted, drank, redistributed the alcohol to those who appreciate it, and then said goodnight. Where as some people count it an exercise to stay awake until midnight on New Year's Eve, here in Brazil it is much easier to stay awake than it is to go to sleep. People take New Year's celebrations very seriously here and so they test their fireworks and acetylene bombs early to insure a good time of it come midnight. These tests start at about mid November. Then they increase with frequency. On New Year's Eve Day people must double, triple, and quadruple check the quality of their supplies and many begin as early as possible on New Year's Eve Day... that being 12:00 am. But by 9pm on December 31, those people of our party who had to make an airport run by da...