Lunch With the Babysitter
In the world of kids, there are definite trends in food. For instance, I can't remember babysitting for a single family that did not, at one time or another, have cheese sticks in their refrigerator.
That is just fine. I happen to like cheese sticks. Colby, Mozzarella, Cheddar, and even Monterrey Jack.
But there are other food trends in Kid Land that took a little while longer to grow on me. I've already mentioned Macaroni and Cheese, and I'm sure you remember hot dogs from your own childhood (of course now a days, they are 100% turkey meat or chicken) and peanut butter and jelly. Both of which I gave up eating about the time I entered high school, but now that I lunch with kids, I've added them back to my diet. I've even met and conquered the dreaded cheese spray.
But while I catch myself eyeing the baby's applesauce (also something that I spent nearly a decade avoiding, although college cafeteria food drove me back to it) or munching on fish crackers because they happen to be smiling at me, I have yet to succumb to the last few Kid Land specials.
The first is Balogna. Need I say more?
And then there is squeeze yogurt. I'm a huge fan of yogurt, normally. I've walked for fifteen minutes in the sweltering Chinese summer to buy yogurt. I've eaten yogurt frozen, liquified, and past it's sell by date. I've eaten homemade yogurt and The Country's Best Yogurt. But I have not yet been desperate enough to eat squeeze yogurt.
Perhaps it is the radio-active blue and pink colors it comes in with the equally disturbing names like "RazzleTazzleBlueShoeBlast" or "PrecociousPinkGumdropBubblegum". When flavors come in second to colors, I can't help but wonder which crazy chemist is plotting eventual world domination through seemingly harmless yogurt. Or maybe I've seen too many tubes of yogurt squeezed so that a dallop of blistering blue rises to the top and then down little fingers onto counter tops, high chairs, pergo floors, and white shirts. Or maybe I've had to touch too many strangled tubes with pulsating pink contaminated saliva covering every inch.
Whatever it is, I think I'll go for another cheese stick.
That is just fine. I happen to like cheese sticks. Colby, Mozzarella, Cheddar, and even Monterrey Jack.
But there are other food trends in Kid Land that took a little while longer to grow on me. I've already mentioned Macaroni and Cheese, and I'm sure you remember hot dogs from your own childhood (of course now a days, they are 100% turkey meat or chicken) and peanut butter and jelly. Both of which I gave up eating about the time I entered high school, but now that I lunch with kids, I've added them back to my diet. I've even met and conquered the dreaded cheese spray.
But while I catch myself eyeing the baby's applesauce (also something that I spent nearly a decade avoiding, although college cafeteria food drove me back to it) or munching on fish crackers because they happen to be smiling at me, I have yet to succumb to the last few Kid Land specials.
The first is Balogna. Need I say more?
And then there is squeeze yogurt. I'm a huge fan of yogurt, normally. I've walked for fifteen minutes in the sweltering Chinese summer to buy yogurt. I've eaten yogurt frozen, liquified, and past it's sell by date. I've eaten homemade yogurt and The Country's Best Yogurt. But I have not yet been desperate enough to eat squeeze yogurt.
Perhaps it is the radio-active blue and pink colors it comes in with the equally disturbing names like "RazzleTazzleBlueShoeBlast" or "PrecociousPinkGumdropBubblegum". When flavors come in second to colors, I can't help but wonder which crazy chemist is plotting eventual world domination through seemingly harmless yogurt. Or maybe I've seen too many tubes of yogurt squeezed so that a dallop of blistering blue rises to the top and then down little fingers onto counter tops, high chairs, pergo floors, and white shirts. Or maybe I've had to touch too many strangled tubes with pulsating pink contaminated saliva covering every inch.
Whatever it is, I think I'll go for another cheese stick.
Comments
1 HC minute... celery sticks
5 HC minutes... unbuttered popcorn
10 HC minutes... mixed nuts
15 HC minutes... yogurt (non-squeeze)
20 HC minutes... chips and salsa
30 HC minutes... chocolate-covered pretzels
60 HC minutes... chili cheese fries
I'm not sure how well this scale corrolates to the actual difficulty of finding any of these snacks in summertime China.
Grilled Cheese was rated pretty high, I think there could be 35 more people in that line than any other and I would still choose it where as the "Not a Tapas Bar" was a negative number. Not that there was actually ever a line for the "Not a Tapas Bar".
I would like to propose sherbet for the 60 HC minutes.
I would also like to proprose the founding of a country which places itself somewhere the two extremes of yoghurt-hood demonstrated by the US (every kind of yoghurt, including squeeze yoghurt in scary colors with scarier names)and Brazil (strawberry yoghurt, strawberry yoghurt, or strawberry yoghurt). I have never felt the need to squeeze my yoghurt. However, every once in awhile I would like something other than strawberry yoghurt, like berry yoghurt or apple yoghurt or maybe a little peach yoghurt.
And yes, I would also very much like a cheese-stick.