Life in the Slow Lane

On the first day of dog sitting my two dogs gave to me A yellow puddle on the kitchen floor. On the second day of dog sitting my two dogs gave to me Two dumpsters full of strewn trash And a yellow puddle on the kitchen floor. On the third day of dog sitting my two dogs gave to me Three shredded couch cushions Two dumpsters full of strewn trash And a yellow puddle on the kitchen floor. On the fourth day of dog sitting my two dogs gave to me Four paw prints on my work clothes Three shredded couch cushions Two dumpsters full of strewn trash And a yellow puddle on the kitchen floor. On the fifth day of dog sitting my two dogs gave to me Five great big howls Four paw prints on my work clothes Three shredded couch cushions Two dumpsters full of strewn trash And a yellow puddle on the kitchen floor. On the sixth day of dog sitting my two dogs gave to me Six hours of whining Five great big howls Four paw prints on my work clothes Three shredded couch cushions Two dumpsters full of strewn trash...

Of all of the times to choose to get passport photos taken, immediately after a very long day at work on the day following a long night trying to sleep as the cushion for slobbery dogs, is not the best time. I didn't even manage to get my eyes mostly open. Fortunately, these pictures are not actually going to go on my passport. We can be thankful for even the small things.

Today, in a letter thanking me for responding, I received an explanation for why Isaac only had one wife when his father and his son both had more than one. The answer, it seems, is in his choice of wife... Rebekah was perfect. And then in the flowery, flattering way that is so foreign to American English, the writer proceeded to draw comparisons between me and that virtuous woman of old. I am thankful the writer stopped before the part of the story where Rebekah favors one son over the other and deceives her husband. But I am even more thankful that I am nearly positive the writer is a woman. Because frankly, with all of the moving I'm doing, I don't have room for another bed spread .

Another interesting part of my life this week is the care and feeding of a small tank of predator fish. In the morning and evening I am to feed them a "pinch of blood worms." It sounds like the secret ingredient in a wizardly stew. And I have pinched many things in my life... salt, bubble wrap, brothers... but I have decided that I will find some other way to measure out dried blood worms than with a pinch.

So apparently my perspective has been wrong. I am not yet ready to agree with the person who said "Oh, it's just like you are on vacation... only you have to come to work every day!" but I do feel a little better about the situation. Maybe. Reason #1: I took the two tykes on a walk yesterday and a neighbor greeted them "Oh, the two amazing escape artists." No escapes from the back yard yet on my watch, I guess the battering rams have experienced more success than failure in the past. Reason #2: A friend of the owners commented "The puppy always sleeps with the daughter." No wonder Gracie thought she owned my bed. Reason #3: The same friend mentioned that she doesn't think the dogs are ever left alone for more than a couple of hours at a time, and rarely. That might explain the horrible whining and angry floor-wetting. All this to say, I guess I should be telling you all how amazing it is that I managed to get three hours of sleep last night wi...

I have to admit that sometimes I am very hesitant to talk about my life on the move. Sitting at my desk, smiling to the tour groups passing by, I don't want them to even suspect that I have not ironed my clothes in a month because I made the logistical error of packing my iron. Or, in the kitchen at work I don't want people to realize that my bagged "lunch" actually is all of my perishable food hanging out between house sitting assignments. And yes, I am embarrassed about the motley assortment of items filling my back seat. I expressed this to one of my co-workers and she asked me why. "It's not like you are a hobo." No, I am not a hobo, but there isn't very much difference between an adventurer and a hobo. I thought of this again this morning, as I tried to figure out how to make the shower work. I adjusted the water coming out of the bathtub spigot to the perfect temperature and then began my search for the nob that would direct the water out the...

At 2:30 in the morning, I am curled up on the couch, thinking that nine days, in this case, is a life time. I've been given the option of sleeping in any one of four different beds in the house, not including the fold out bed in the office, but instead, I am scrunched in the space of half a couch, as one of the large dogs is taking up the other half. And I guess the fact that she is on my feet means she is taking more than her half. In the light of the day I met them last week, Gracie and Lily seemed to be practically boring. Lily's life was described to be all that is typical of an old dog who wakes up to turn around and then go back to sleep. Gracie, I was told, could be "walked" without a leash... I would just need to spray the hose around the yard and Gracie would chase after it. But then maybe there were hints that I should have picked up on, before 2:30 in the morning. Like "Lily scratches at the door when she needs to go out. We are still working on Gra...

One good thing about having every square inch of my car crammed with my many earthly possessions (that apparently I cannot do without) is that when I must stop abruptly in traffic, I don't have to worry about anything sliding forward. And I have come to decide that although I am greeted with "So how is my favorite gypsy?" I'm not sure I have nearly as cool theme music as gypsies typically do.

Check out the new poll feature in the side bar! This makes one more way that you can carve your initials in the cement. Of course, the cement will change periodically, but that just makes it more fun! Happy opining!

One of the best ways to feel productive is to check items off of a to do list as you complete them. Wonderful thing it is, to plan to accomplish something and to follow through on that plan. That is why I made sure to include "Take nap in hammock" on my list. There is nothing like waking up, refreshed, and finding that you have been productive while you slept.

One advantage of being in a building that was designed to hold conferences is the blow these conferences give to the TINSTAAFL (There Is No Such Thing As A Free Lunch) theorem. All of our meeting rooms at work have huge panes of glass rather than walls. Not only does this allow us to anticipate leftovers from a business lunch meeting, but it allows us to guess how many leftovers there might be... You know, estimate the ratio of big eaters to little eaters, guessing at how many are on Weight Watchers, South Beach, Atkins, NutriSystem , and every other diet known to mankind (When did diets become the best small talk topic? What fun is it to sit around to enjoy each other's company over food, when everyone shares their own reasons for why the stuff you are eating will give you a slow painful death? Isn't the phrase "No, thank you, I don't care for any right now" much more conducive to friendly chit chat?). But I digress. TINSTAAFL . Oh, yeah, and business lunch...

Have you ever noticed how everything a girl is likely to keep in the bathroom cupboards and on her vanity (should she actually have access to such marvels of organizational space) tends to multiply? One summer I found myself sharing a small bedroom with three other girls. As we began to unpack, we began to laugh at our collection of lotions, hair products, nail polish, facial cleansers, and all that contributes to the beautification of the female visage. There was one flat space in the bedroom, and we covered it entirely in the miscellaneous assortment of bottles and tubes. I am not sure how it has happened, but I'm inclined to believe that my supply of such things has surpassed even that eclectic mound of items. Of course most of it is not my fault. In the world of feminine gift giving, it is perfectly natural to acquire lotions and soaps which will require planning and dedication to use before they sour. And then again, a new gift must be at least sampled immediately, leavi...

The telephone is not my natural friend. I think of this in my debrief session following my time covering the reception desk. When a telephone rings, it is naturally urgent, because you have the space of four rings to answer. But when three lines on the same telephone all ring at once... A co-worker stopped by my desk on his lunch break to talk about his telephone usage. He spoke about how many minutes of day time and weekend he spent talking, how many thousands of text messages he sent a month, all the while fiddling with his insanely expensive phone and saying how he really didn't like it. But, he said, with a phone practically glued to his ear, he needed to have a super nice phone. I wonder what it would be like to have that sort of attraction to phone dependence. As he walked away, merrily reading a text message, it occurred to me that the person I speak with most frequently on the phone is not my mother, nor any of my siblings, nor even best friends from college... it is a c...

When it comes to packing, how come there is so much that must wait until the last minute? I can't pack all of the food, because I will want to eat up until the last minute (and refrigerated food can't sit out much longer than the last minute). I can't pack my various hygiene products, because I would very much like to remain hygienic . I can't pack my bed linens, because I still need something to pull over my head when the alarm goes off. I suspect, and this may surprise you, the last minute is not going to be long enough to accomplish all that is waiting until then.