Life in the Slow Lane

And so, Gentle Readers, in case you have not figured things out, I will be unable to post updates on my blog for the next few weeks as I will be traveling by air, and not in the slow lane. That brings me to a point that I believe we can all be thankful for: Whether you live in the slow lane or the fast lane, at least you don't live in the airport.

As packing is frequently a much despised activity, and as I will be doing a great deal of it this summer, I have resolved to find the fun parts of packing and make a list of them. So far the list looks like this: The Fun Things About Packing * Fitting a roll of toilet paper in a sandwich ziplock. This is particularly satisfying when you take a super big roll, take out the cardboard inside, then squeeze it flat inside the bag, sealing all of the air out. For those of you who are curious about why I would want to pack a squished roll of toilet paper, you evidently lack experience in the toilet paperless bathrooms of the world. * Testing the camera to make sure that it is functioning properly. This involves making a tour of the house and neighborhood, trying all sorts of experimental shots to insure that the rarely used features are ready just in case. * Buying little doo dads for travel. As everyone knows, you can spend a fortune on travel accessories that you have ...

So it's been a little while since I've complained about cats or detailed the perplexing behavior of small children or lauded the virtues of a pair of pants. Nor do I much care to do so now. In the state of mind I am currently in, I might just laud the virtues of cats, complain about small children, or detail the perplexing behavior of a pair of pants. Instead I will brag about the pair of pies I made that auctioned off for more than $40 each. (Too bad I can't make a business of that.) And I will comment on the strange sensation of meeting someone face to face who has first come to know you through your blog (Here's to you "The girl in the red hat" and "radioboy") And I will advise you all on the virtues of ascertaining the thouroughness of your sunscreen application so that you don't wind up with finger marks of sunburn and other variations. And I will remind you of the slight panicky sensation which follows accidentally walking through a large s...

I think that sometimes finals should go back to wherever they came from. I think I had one today that was straight from limbo.

To learn what I've forgotten: A very great thing, indeed. To know the names of heros and kings, To know the facts and figures of things, To learn what I've forgotten. To learn what I've forgotten: A very wise thing, indeed. To speak with words of perfect choice To speak with confidence in my voice, To learn what I've forgotten. To learn what I've forgotten: A very hard thing, indeed. To remember the things I have studied, To remember the things time has muddied, To learn what I've forgotten.

I was all fired up to go complain about the silly assessment test, and the secretary suggested that I come in at 7am Monday morning to stand in line to see a counselor. Then she suggested that to smooth things over, I should watch the online orientation video. So, dutiful me, I did. It could use some obvious re-editing, but it did offer me a very important tidbit of information. English 001 comes after English 251. As I am sure the rest of you knew, the proper way to count is 300 through 400, then 200 through 299, then 100 through 199, and finally 001-099. All this to say, I don't need to take English 001 as a prerequisite for the class I want to take. Eventually I will need to go stand in the monster line to talk to a counselor, but I get to put it off a little longer. Yay for me.

Yesterday, after fulfilling my duty and privilege of reporting as a potential juror, I made several spur of the moment decisions. The first was to catch the bus from the court house. The second was to not take the bus the rest of the way home. I figured it was a beautiful, fresh smelling day, it couldn't be much more than two or three miles, and I didn't have anything that needed to be done besides ironing, so I got off the bus and headed home. Unfortunately, the shortest distance between the two points happened to be the armpit. The stock yards. A junk yard or two. A nearly abandoned RV storage. A processing plant. A beautiful, fresh smelling day, yes. A beautiful, fresh smelling walk, no.

I am thinking dark thoughts about the multiple choice placement test that says that I need to take the "Intro to College Writing" class. Beware my dark thoughts.

For those of you who have gotten worried that I may be moving out of the slow lane, do not fear, I have not strayed too far from my roots. I have recently discovered a great satisfaction in flossing daily. I have grown to appreciate The Wiggles, although I didn't make it to any of their concerts on the West Coast. I must admit, fan that I am, that their early work carries a certain quality that their more recent work lacks. I'm not sure what exactly I would call that quality, but it is there. For class on Monday I made a potato stamp picture of a bright winter day and then in class I made a zoo out of graham crackers, pretzels, animal crackers and frosting plus a butterfly out of disgusting white bread, peanut butter, pretzels, and candy. This past Sunday I took a walk in the rain (cold, though it was) and I took time to smell the roses. Okay, so I actually didn't stop to actually smell them. And there weren't any roses, but I did see amazing wild flowers. And today I...

Hello. I've recently begun to notice that I see several common sayings as salutations and not for the meanings the words denote. Part of this realization is due to overhearing a conversation where the manager scolded the cashier for saying "How are you?" before "Hi" or "Hello." I don't think there is too much trouble with "How are you?" replacing "Hello" because eventually, if someone really wants to know, it is asked a second time a little bit later in the dialog. I seem to be having more trouble with leave takings when people say "Have a good day" or "Thank you" or any variation on those and my response is "I'll see you later." Not only have I not wished them a good day in return nor thanked them nor even told them "You're welcome" but perhaps I am telling a perfect stranger that I will see them later when I have no intent of ever seeing them ever again. This language is tricky s...

The problem with trying to portray a professional and business-like attitude is that then people think that you will operate like a business. I'm traveling for nearly seven weeks this summer, and that is kind of hard to explain to my various clients who have grown used to counting on me every week and knowing that they can call me and I might be able to help them on fifteen minutes notice. Maybe I should just say that I'm going on business trips. I just hope that I still have my business when I get back.