Life in the Slow Lane

With my boots pulled high and my belt tied low, I eyed the beast and walked real slow. "I told you to print! I'm not backing down. You do as I say or I'll run you out of town!" Now I'm a cool cumcumber of a gal, and I've been known to hold my tongue, But when a printer doesn't print, I think it should be taken out and strung! But the beast just sat there, not flinching at my glare It hummed in its rebellion and blinked!... that little hellion. I gave a great swing and slapped its hardened hide But any hint of mercy must be hidden deep inside. "You just wait! You take some time to think! 'Cause tomorrow I'll be back, and I'll make you spill your ink!"

Packing is a strange beast. I suppose you may all be tired of hearing my musings on packing, seeing as it comes up every time I pack... and I pack a lot. But if I must endure the trials of packing, you must endure the trial of hearing me muse on packing. Take that in the nicest way possible for the circumstances... like maybe in a moving box. Yes, packing is quite torturous to the indecisive person... and the wish-she-were-organized person... and the oops-I-meant-to-mail-that-four-months-ago person... and the there-is-two-inches-of-space-in-that-box-I-can't-close-it-and-waste-that-space person. But on the other hand, now that I am packing, I am quite relieved that I didn't actually get around to dry cleaning all of my clothes because now I can pack them in a box and not worry about what wrinkles there will be when they come out. And I am happy for the opportunity to organize all of my miscellaneous important papers (Read: pull them out from the boxes and bags that were used t...

Today I was thinking that it was about time for another oil change. I checked the miles... sure enough over the 3,000 miles recommended.... and then I checked the little sticker which recommends what month to come back in. So much for being VIP : The mechanics gave me a very, very generous 3-4 months before they recommended I return.

Yesterday one of the people I spoke to on the phone kept yelling at her husband to come to the phone so that he could take over the conversation and give me the critical information. He aparently was on the other telephone line and yelled back that he couldn't come right then. This yelled interchange allowed me to pull the phone away from my ear and pay a little more attention to the sounds around me in the office... like the conversation my supervisor was having around the corner in her office. ...hm... funny thing. Both of us were talking to someone who had a son by the name of T___. What were the chances of two families with that name calling at the same time? Well, I don't know what the chances are of that particular event happening, because as I am sure you suspect, it was the same family who had a son by that name. I put Mrs. on hold and ran over to shove a post-it in my supervisor's face and she put Mr. on hold as she and I put together our two sides of the story...

Today when I got into work, I set about making a list. In great big letters at the top of the page I wrote: I Can't Do it List And then I proceded to write everything that might fill the 8 hours before me. After having admitted the obvious, things looked ever so much better. Especially since after it was written I walked in and handed it to my supervisor. Maybe I will try that again tomorrow.

As I've mentioned before , when your living space is small, things gain multiple uses. So it was, that one day my co-worker asked "That is a lovely collar. Is that part of this shirt or is it a necklace?" I admitted, "No, it's a belt. I just thought I would try it in a different place." The next day I was complemented again about my colorful hair-tie. Me: "Oh, this? Um... it's actually a belt, too." Poor dear. Now every time she remarks about something I am wearing she quickly adds "Or is that a belt?"

Apparently my course of study believes in the wisdom of the charge "Know Thyself". For this assignment, I am supposed to consider my Myer-Briggs profile and determine how it affects my spiritual formation. I've taken this test a number of times over the years, but the last time I took it my results were very different from the time before. So curious about how my results might change again, I found another version and deliberated over my answers. But as far as knowing myself, I'm not sure it is all that helpful. With the exception of the "I" over "E", which presented a percentage of 93 verses 7, all of the other combinations are of equal or nearly equal percentage. How can this be? Reading through the descriptions of the eight potential introverted personality types, it seems unlikely that all of these types could exist in one office with some sort of comraderie, much less in one person. I think the only way these eight introverted personalities ...

So I missed the premier showing, and I am not listed in the credits, and it has not been ranked the top viewed video on YouTube, and I don't have any speaking parts, but if any of you are interested in seeing me look deep in thought contemplating critical issues, you can visit this link here and scroll down to click on the 6 minute "Who will be their voice?" I'm in the last 45 seconds or so. The greatest irony in all of this is that the professor was one of my professors for my undergrad and the serious discussion we were having for the film crew was about how nerdy my friends and I were.

One of the first assignments of my new program was to take an inventory of my primary learning style. I received the folowing results: Your primary learning style is: Visual/Nonverbal 36 Visual/Verbal 36 Auditory 24 Kinesthetic 24 I'm not exactly sure how to interpret that. Primary learning style: I don't have one! The results continued on to say that I am balanced in learning styles, but I'm not sure that is a good thing. The tips for each of the learning styles for increasing your learning potential included using multi-colored highlighters to mark up notes and books and such. I don't like using highlighters. I find them distracting. Even worse, I am sure that I was supposed to report my findings of this inventory on some discussion board somewhere, but I can't figure out where that is supposed to be. I guess maybe it is because I haven't been taught where it is visually nor nonverbally nor verbally nor auditorily nor kinesthetically.

A week or so ago, I had one of those days where I was in my element, happily zoned writing letters. When this happens, I frequently pull out my footstool that is the envy of the entire workspace, lean back in my snazzy chair which moves in more directions than I thought there were dimensions, and pull my wireless keyboard out onto my lap. I suspect that there are not very many people who manage to pull off this level of comfort in the middle of their cubicle. Mostly I suspect this because of the number of people who stop to comment. And, as you know, I am envied for the footstool. But I was very eager to help one co-worker come close to the comfort available, and I urged her to consider asking IT (Information Technology) for a wireless keyboard. Just then Mr. IT himself walked by, commented on my keyboard in my lap... and it was the pefect oportunity to suggest a wireless keyboard for the co-worker standing by. "We don't give those out any more." "But I know you h...

I am one of those people who will read the same exact refrigerator magnet every time I open the fridge because it has words on it and words are for reading. I am one of those people who think that bumper stickers and billboards are a road hazard because I must read them and therefore I take my eyes off of the road in front of me so that I can read the words. Today I noticed a billboard with very hard to read print on the far left side of the freeway, tucked among some trees and I spent quite the effort trying to read it because I was sure it had some dumb thing to say about the car it was advertising and the car I was tailgaiting didn't have a bumper sticker. However, I wasn't able to make sense of the ad. It read: Actively Safe Tip: Don't read billboards. What does that have to do with selling cars?