This is me, writing

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I'm writing my paper, don't you see?

I have five pages, not four and two lines, I have five full pages.

And I'm done, except for the minor detail that the paper is supposed to be ten pages.

Maybe if I changed the format a little bit, you know, went with size 14 font and 2.5 line spacing, double spaced after a period. I could change the margins or add a header and footer with my name, the title of the paper, the semester and year, the page number (although if I don't make 10 pages, it is better to leave this filler out, no need to make it obvious). Then I could include full citations in the body of the paper instead of a footer or works cited page. Maybe I could use the technique of stopping every small subject change to add a subheading or I could do periodic summaries and small introductory paragraphs about what I will be talking about in the next four paragraphs. Maybe I could somehow squeeze in a cute kid story (those always slip in without any hard feelings, right?).

Or ha! I know. Maybe if I started with "Dear___" and converted this paper into a letter, suddenly I would have words pouring onto the page!

Maybe not.

It must be time for me to go paint my toe nails or rearrange my room, but don't tell anyone that's what I am doing. Because for the record, I'm busy writing.

Comments

caedmonstia said…
I usually find it useful to spend at least a page on "defining terms". Like, if it is a paper about the harm that seagull poop inflicts on the environment, I like to spend some time defining 'seagulls', 'poop', and 'environment'. That's my advice for lengthening your paper.

My husband, on the other hand, likes to insert the greek word for each new phrase that he introduces. So he would say, "This paper will discuss seagull poop ([then, in Greek characters:] 'poopkous seagulion') and it's effect on the cosmos [more greek characters for 'kosmos' or whatever it is in Greek]."

My husband gains a good 3 pages in this way, and as far as I know his professors haven't complained.
9:18 AM
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