Greeting Card Writer

-
Did you know that Hallmark is looking for greeting card writers? They have a little PDF exercise you can download from their website to see if you are cut out for the job. The only real problem is you have to relocate to Kansas City.

This set me to thinking. The first thought is: What is it about Kansas City that makes a good writer for greeting cards? Also, I imagine that you could only be a card writer for about 10 months before all of your inspiration disappears and you are stuck writing cheesy poems about flowers and love. Thirdly, I think I want to start my own line of non-cheesy greeting cards. I already have some ideas.

Outside:
The man in the moon smiled in his sleep
The stars by his side dreamed wondrous things
The wind rolled over in its bed, the trees

Inside:
Because they were all too far away to hear your #$!!!!@!###!!!!!!! dog bark all night.
Shoot it or boot it.
Love, your neighbor.

or

Outside:
On the occassion of you making dinner, I'd like to offer you this little poem...

Inside:
Thanks for cooking dinner
With out you, I'd be much thinner
I'd eat what showed up at my door
A scrap of meat and an apple core.

or

Inside:
Congratulations on your new toothbrush!

Outside:
Life should be filled with celebrations, this way you get to celebrate at least once every three months. (Doctor Recommended.)


What do you think? Do I have a future? (If you say yes, I say thank you. If you say no, I will assume you do not wish for me to move to Kansas City, a very benevolent thought.)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Stone of Help

-
Image
For the longest time I thought “Ebenezer” was a cup. Not just any cup, mind you, one of those old drinking vessels that might also be called goblet or chalice. My reasoning, you see, was all based on the hymn, “Here I raise mine Ebenezer, hither by thy help I’m come.” To my little girl ears, it sounded like someone was proposing a toast, glass in hand to having made it so far. I know better now, but I still feel as if I am far more likely to toast how far I’ve made it than to set a large stone on end. But truthfully, I’m not very likely to do either. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not slighting the role God has had in bringing me as far as I am. And it’s not a lack of gratitude that turns me into being one of the nine lepers who never returned to thank Jesus for his healing. (At least, not always.) Instead, I’ve found that many times I don’t want to draw attention to what God has done for me because I worry it will make others feel as if I am intimating that I am a favor
Read more

The Crazy Market

-
There is a place here in Beijing that I (not so) affectionately call The Crazy Market. Imagine four floors of wall to wall shops, one shop selling the same thing that 15 other shops are selling, all displayed with bright colors and lights and each shop having two or three people who call out "Hello! What are you looking for?" "Hello! We give you good price!" "Hello! How many coats you want buy?" "Hello! We have your size shoe!" (This one makes me want to stop and say "Oh, I greatly doubt it.") "Hello! Nice pearls for you!" If you so much as look at an item, it is immediately assumed that you will buy it and so they call out "What is your highest price? We give you good discount." The only exception to this is the very bottom floor that is filled with every imaginable and unimagineable sea creature and various sea creature parts in various stages of life. This serves as a good aroma which frequently makes its way up t
Read more

The Right Trousers

-
Someone once told me that a friend of theirs received a package from an anonymous person that contained a pair of pants inside. It was mailed from across the country, yet the pair of pants was the right size and style for this particular person. Now I consider that to be a great mystery. But I also consider it a mystery that I wouldn't mind happening to me. Because, you see, playing with children wreaks havoc on my pants. Especially if I have the misfortune to sit down on some unknown substance which then leaves a very unfortunate colored stain in a very, very unfortunate spot. I may have to consider some creative patch work, but that, too, has its problems. I say this because I have another pair of pants that developed a hole the size of Montana near one of the back pockets. (Please do not speculate on the size of the pants based on the size of the hole.) My most beautiful sister, in what I thought was a display of pure magnanimous affection, bought me a couple of patches to fix t
Read more