National Holiday

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Today is a holiday that you won't hear much about.

However, it is an important day to celebrate for many people through out these United States.

What holiday is this? you ask.

Today (or tomorrow or Wednesday, depending on your local trash day) is Clean Out Your Refrigerator in Preparation for Thanksgiving Leftovers Day.

I have been in households where refridgerators are mere formalities. They have one item on the top shelf, three or four items in the middle, and a chunk of cheese and mustard, and then drinks on the door. The main reason they have refridgerators is for the freezer, which is packed with TV dinners and other frozen instant foods.

If you live in one of those houses, then you are just out of luck in regards to this holiday. My recommendation for you is that you rent out the empty space in your fridge to others.

For the rest of you, more normal, people, I have collected a small list of guidelines for cleaning out your fridge.

1. Don't do it around a meal time unless you are trying to lose weight.
2. Start with an empty dishwasher and trash bag so that nothing has to sit on the counter and perfume the air.
3. Search out a few unpicky male eaters to take care of those items that aren't quite trash worthy yet aren't something you really care to eat.
4. If you come to the end of the job and have more things to go back into the fridge than you think you have room for, you either
a) didn't throw enough away,
b) didn't stack as well as you should, or
c) took too long and so let your refridgerator exhale.
The only remedy for this last one is to find someone who will rent you space in their fridge.

So, does anyone have room for 19 eggs you might care to rent me?

Comments

Matthew Carroll said…
You are a brave girl, and I admire your efforts!

I am sitting in the Portland airport at the moment. For breakfast at 3am I had a "bake-outta-the-tube" muffin and a cup of coffee. Not to be recommened for the faint of stomach. Well, the carry-on crush at the security check has cleared, so I'm going to take advantage of it and run through before the next big rush. See you Mañana! - Mateo
6:26 AM
caedmonstia said…
Last Thursday was not Thanksgiving here(atleast, no one really celebrated it. It's not a big holiday here). It was National End Violence Against Women Day.

What does this day have to say to us about women who are forced into the physical and mental torture of facing the inside of the refrigerator -- being forced to encounter, defenceless, the perishable refuse of the household of mankind?

Off with this bondage, womankind! Let us blow up the refrigerator, ladies, as once we so passionately burned our bras!!!!! A new day has come!!!!!!!!!!
5:27 PM
slowlane said…
While we are at it, maybe we can also cut off our thumbs.
6:20 PM
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