Is nothing sacred?

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There are some things that we assume will always be part of childhood:

Crayons that can have their labels peeled off so that you can color in broad side-ways strokes instead of using just the point... sandwiches where the crusts are left behind... peanut butter and jelly where the goopy goodness squeezes out the back while you take a bite from the front... These seem like they should be included in the definition of childhood.

But no longer. Our bigger and better and more hygenic world has gotten rid of these things. Crayons come in "Twistables", encased in plastic with little, wimpy surfaces for coloring. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches come as "Uncrustables" that are little sealed bread pockets. And, if "Uncrustables" don't provide enough options for going without the crust, you can buy loaves of bread that come without any crust.

Any day now they will introduce a product that will keep great aunts from pinching little cheeks and remarking on how much the child has grown. They'll have to call the product "Unpinchables" or something.

Comments

Matthew Carroll said…
Until they invent noses that are "Unpickable" childhood will always be safe.
1:11 PM
Damian said…
I guess I'm a fogey - I buy the "un-breadable" brand with only the crusts.
5:01 PM
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