Tips for choosing and writing your Christmas cards

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1. Go easy on the glitter.
2. Avoid writing it from the viewpoint of your dog.
3. Do not use extensive quotes from last year's letter.
4. If you are going to write it from the viewpoint of your dog, at least enclose one picture of him.
5. If you feel that you must write it as if you are Mrs. Claus, by no means mention people who tried to pinch your Claus covered ******. (Santa isn't going to be able to deliver presents to anyone else because he will spend all Christmas Eve filling their house with coal.)
6. If you really must write the letter from the viewpoint of your dog, do not begin the letter with "This year was a very busy year for my house. Every day my master took me out to relieve myself." While that very well might be the highlight for the dog, there is a reason that dogs do not exchange Christmas cards.

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