Question:
How many times can you apply the five second rule to one piece of food?
The "No I" Phone
It's a cheap party trick: I pull out my phone, flip it open to check the time or send a quick text, and watch for the reactions. In the decades I've owned a flip phone, people have given me a few double takes. Recently, though, when I opened my phone to squint at a photo texted to me, the person sitting across the conference table surprised me with a "Haha! I love your phone!" And I did, too. I loved my flip phone. Then, in a deadly mistake of distracted domesticity, I scooped it up with my bed sheets and dropped it in the washing machine: Eco Cold, extra spin. Oh gentle readers, the tragedy of beautiful T9 predictive text programming drowned at the bottom of the linens spin cycle! Yes, I lost saved phone numbers, the blurry store photos I'd snapped over the years to double check prices when back to internet access, the text threads with details about addresses and meet-ups... all lost. Sad, inconvenient, annoying, frustrating, all of it. But the biggest tragedy,
Comments
My critique-of-the-US-culture/this-is-your-mother-speaking answer would be: People seldom die of eating things that have dropped on the ground. More often they die (albeit more slowly) of the food that they eat on purpose which hasn't touched the ground but which comes from places like McDonalds and clogs the old arteries. So go ahead and eat that food you've dropped on the ground seventy-times-seven times! As long as it's a fresh vegetable and not a cheeseburger!