Newman's Own

-
As I recently confessed, I've gotten a little out of hand with my coupon use.

Several weeks ago I spent a 75 cents off coupon on two boxes of Newman's Own popcorn.

First, let me advise you to save your 75 cents on something else. The popcorn is kind of gross.

But inside each box of popcorn was a coupon to save $1.00 off of some item from Newman's Own. I didn't want to save $1 on gross popcorn, so I decided to branch out and try some other products from the brand.

That is when I bought a carton of limeade.

Now I should have realized, when one of the first things I did when I brought the popcorn home was to take the bags out of the box, that I did not appreciate staring at Newman's Own face every time I went looking for some item of food.

But taking individual bags of popcorn out of a box is a lot simpler than taking the limeade out of the carton.

So every time I opened the fridge, there was Newman. And so a battle begun. Did I want to leave him in the front so that I would finish the limeade and be able to throw the carton out more quickly? or did I hide him in the back so that he wasn't looking at me every time I pulled out a yogurt?

Frankly, I was having trouble understanding who thought it was a brilliant idea to have a great big face on every product. I mean, who really wants to open the fridge to find something staring at them? What could be more disconcerting?

And then my roommate brought home two eight inch long, whole fish. If they could have smiled at me from their prominent place on the refrigerator shelf, I'm sure they would have.

I'm nearly positive Newman started laughing.

Comments

Elena Johnston said…
Newman's Own spaghetti sauce is very, very yummy.

Newman's Own grape juice, not so much.
7:57 PM
Tess said…
They put the picture on it, because it's Paul Newman, although it's a bad rendering. Paul Newman is really great looking, especially considering that he's over 80, but he was absolutely gorgeous in his heyday. Btw, I'm a fan of his dressing.
10:29 PM
Unknown said…
my housemate is addicted to newman's own lemonade. she can recite the weird story on the back of the carton from memory. (something about running a race in the desert.) in any case, it's good, and i make a point to steal some every time she buys it. thus, i have come to associate the face with refreshing lemony goodness. it makes me salivate like pavlov's dogs.
1:13 PM
slowlane said…
Dear Cousin... I find that vaguely disturbing.

On second thought, strike "vaguely" from the record.
5:34 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The "No I" Phone

-
Image
It's a cheap party trick: I pull out my phone, flip it open to check the time or send a quick text, and watch for the reactions. In the decades I've owned a flip phone, people have given me a few double takes. Recently, though, when I opened my phone to squint at a photo texted to me, the person sitting across the conference table surprised me with a "Haha! I love your phone!" And I did, too. I loved my flip phone. Then, in a deadly mistake of distracted domesticity, I scooped it up with my bed sheets and dropped it in the washing machine: Eco Cold, extra spin. Oh gentle readers, the tragedy of beautiful T9 predictive text programming drowned at the bottom of the linens spin cycle! Yes, I lost saved phone numbers, the blurry store photos I'd snapped over the years to double check prices when back to internet access, the text threads with details about addresses and meet-ups... all lost. Sad, inconvenient, annoying, frustrating, all of it. But the biggest tragedy,
Read more

Amtrak Adventuring

-
Image
Trying to see it all, 2011 I may never look down the aisle of an Amtrak train without remembering a baby bouncing, holding fast to the seat as the train rocked and bounced even faster. All the world over, trains carry a reputation for efficiency and frugality. That has never been my experience with Amtrak.  The Adventure Begins, June 22, 2011 Thirteen years ago (almost to the day) our little family set out on our first Amtrak adventure. We thought three weeks touring the United States on a train with an infant made so much more sense than the alternative. The alternative being flying or driving (with the same infant) to a wedding in the middle of Cornfieldville, Ohio. Being young and foolish, it made perfect sense. Our baby did not yet sleep through the night, so sitting up in coach seating night after night wouldn't affect our sleep all that much. With a rolling ice chest filled with lunch sacks that prevented us from knowing in advance whether our meal was Option A, B, or C, w
Read more

Stone of Help

-
Image
For the longest time I thought “Ebenezer” was a cup. Not just any cup, mind you, one of those old drinking vessels that might also be called goblet or chalice. My reasoning, you see, was all based on the hymn, “Here I raise mine Ebenezer, hither by thy help I’m come.” To my little girl ears, it sounded like someone was proposing a toast, glass in hand to having made it so far. I know better now, but I still feel as if I am far more likely to toast how far I’ve made it than to set a large stone on end. But truthfully, I’m not very likely to do either. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not slighting the role God has had in bringing me as far as I am. And it’s not a lack of gratitude that turns me into being one of the nine lepers who never returned to thank Jesus for his healing. (At least, not always.) Instead, I’ve found that many times I don’t want to draw attention to what God has done for me because I worry it will make others feel as if I am intimating that I am a favor
Read more